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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Chris August 1, 2009 at 1:31 pm

imho if he is saying he is hyper-sensitive it is probably too much. There are tons of estrogens polluting our environment from all the soy, plastics, BPA, etc. that it can totally induce hypersensitivity and over-femininity in males. You’ve probably already seen “The Disappearing Male” but if you haven’t it is a must see and related directly w/ your work.

That said, I do agree with your basic premise and the idea behind it all, IE emotions are not to be suppressed, they’re to be expressed.

I think the more unhealthy your upbringing and the further from human nature you get the more out of whack and “blocked” your connection to your emotions become, Wilhelm Reich would call it “Armoring.”

I think it is really important to discern the cause of your emotions (if there are seemingly distortions) and deeply examine your own emotional and psychological makeup in order to really get a grasp of what exactly your problem really is, because it can be extremely difficult to “pry open your third eye”, as it were, and really get an honest, conditioning free look at yourself (it is almost impossible and I wouldn’t think it possible had I not experienced it for myself as a result of mainly Wilhelm Reich’s writings). If you can’t accurately diagnose the problem then you will just be running around “chasing phantoms” as they say ;)

Cheers and Take care!

PS. Rereading my post I also think it is very important to use the word I instead of you ;) I know I personally enjoy reading peoples personal take on life much more than someone simply proselytizing to me!

Melissa Karnaze August 2, 2009 at 10:15 am

imho if he is saying he is hyper-sensitive it is probably too much. There are tons of estrogens polluting our environment from all the soy, plastics, BPA, etc. that it can totally induce hypersensitivity and over-femininity in males. You’ve probably already seen “The Disappearing Male” but if you haven’t it is a must see and related directly w/ your work.

That’s a possibility, Chris. Thanks for the reference, I’ll have to check out the book sometime.

I view sensitivity as a signal-system, since, as one of the article titles here says, “Emotion = Thought + Meaning (Expressed as Feeling).” When this signal-system is amped up (whether or not under the influence of external pollutants), it may be overwhelming, but you can train yourself to manage the signals more constructively. For instance, I consider myself to be very sensitive. It used to be very overwhelming for me, and it still is at times, because being empathetic means I almost automatically tune into other people’s pain, and can even see it when they are unaware of it — and then I have all that pain to deal with. But having strong personal boundaries does away with the dysfunctional aspect of being very sensitive, as does working with all of my feelings constructively.

I think it is really important to discern the cause of your emotions (if there are seemingly distortions) and deeply examine your own emotional and psychological makeup in order to really get a grasp of what exactly your problem really is, because it can be extremely difficult to “pry open your third eye”, as it were, and really get an honest, conditioning free look at yourself (it is almost impossible and I wouldn’t think it possible had I not experienced it for myself as a result of mainly Wilhelm Reich’s writings). If you can’t accurately diagnose the problem then you will just be running around “chasing phantoms” as they say ;)

Yes, I would say it’s very difficult to “pry open your third eye” if your unresolved negative emotions are clouding your vision.

I know I personally enjoy reading peoples personal take on life much more than someone simply proselytizing to me!

Mmm, you hit on something I’ve thought about for a long time, Chris!

My intent in writing is to present what I understand and make a compelling case for why I’ve found the Response Ability perspective to be healthy and well worth it. You can read more about why I use “you” more often by clicking on the first link in this recent article.

Basically, after writing a good amount of self-help type writing, I’ve found that “you” is much more direct to the reader. And it’s also the more common voice in mainstream self-help books. There’s just something about this conversational writing that works really well.

Of course, there are drawbacks to both “you” and “I” writing. One of the drawbacks in “you” writing is that you end up making more assumptions just by nature of the statement structures (e.g. “You need to do this in order to gain that…” instead of “I need to do this in order to gain that…”).

However, that drawback also helps drive the point home that self-help type writing is really just persuasive writing. So when I write here, it’s important for me to be mindful of the fact that I want to be opinionated and make my points that others can use, and not just talk about myself all of the time. Also, I trust that my readership is smart enough to disagree when something doesn’t work for them (which you’ve demonstrated in the Poly-Mono article), or toss everything out if nothing is working.

If you do feel that I am simply proselytizing to you, and it is giving you cause for a negative emotional reaction, then by all means, don’t hesitate to speak to me more directly about it here.

Chris August 2, 2009 at 1:20 pm

No, I don’t at all! I was just responding to that article as well because I felt like all the “you” type stuff is too overdone ;) I can’t stand all the “5 ways you can bring blah blah blah to blah blah blah” nonsense to “monetize” “blogging” etc.

I checked out the interview too and it was great, I love Showalter and it made me like Ian Black a lot more too, I don’t really fancy their new show but Stella is one of my favorite shows, but yeah I think it was def a case of more natural just hypersensitivity caused by upbringing.

‘The Disappearing Male’ is a video which was on CBC Canada, it’s all over the interweb if you want to check it out.

But yeah I am afraid to say I am a bit more forceful with my assertions, I don’t view it as simply “take it or leave it,” I think that idea is the product of conditioning. I think most people these days simply say things for the sake of saying them, “being opinionated” is considered some sort of virtue, I don’t really operate in that whole “reality” or whatever they want to call it, I’m “grounded” for lack of a better word as a result of serious study.

Cheers on the site,
Best

Melissa Karnaze August 2, 2009 at 2:51 pm

I can’t stand all the “5 ways you can bring blah blah blah to blah blah blah” nonsense to “monetize” “blogging” etc.

You know, I feel the same way. I can’t stomach so much of the blogging that’s out there, because most of it now is reduced to simplistic overlays of complicated issues, with very little critical thinking added in. And what’s worse, most of the monetization posts are fear-driven and fear-mongering (like advertising).

With that said though, there are some things that “work” and I’m constantly trying to fine tune so I can make the best out of those methods without compromising what I deem to be as quality. Blogging sounds simple, but it requires a lot of decision making.

But yeah I am afraid to say I am a bit more forceful with my assertions, I don’t view it as simply “take it or leave it,” I think that idea is the product of conditioning.

Hm, I think you’re not so afraid to say it. :p Good for you, being opinionated means you are more connected with your feelings.

I think most people these days simply say things for the sake of saying them, “being opinionated” is considered some sort of virtue…

Did you mean to say, some sort of “vice”?

Blogging has definitely been helping me reconnect with my opinionated nature. At times, I do tone it down, but it’s the driving force behind everything I write here.

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