inner child
Johnny goes to modeling class in his school for special children and he gets his piece of putty and he’s modeling it. He takes a little lump of putty and goes to a corner of the room and he’s playing with it. The teacher comes up to him and says, “Hi, Johnny.” And Johnny says, “Hi.” And the teacher says, “What’s that you’ve got in your hand?” And Johnny says, “This is a lump of cow dung.” The teacher asks, “What are you making out of it?” He says, “I’m making a teacher.”
The teacher thought, “Little Johnny has regressed.” So she calls out to the principal, who was passing by the door at that moment, and says, “Johnny has regressed.”
So the principal goes up to Johnny and says, “Hi, son.” And Johnny says, “Hi.” And the principal says, “What do you have in your hand?” And he says, “A lump of cow dung.” “What are you making out of it?” And he says, “A principal.”
The principal thinks that this is a case for the school psychologist. “Send for the psychologist!”
The psychologist is a clever guy. He goes up and says, “Hi.” And Johnny says, “Hi.” And the psychologist says, “I know what you’ve got in your hand.” “What?” “A lump cow dung.” Johnny says, “Right.” “And I know what you’re making out of it.” “What?” “You’re making a psychologist.” “Wrong. Not enough cow dung!”

But really “learned” it through interaction with my own Inner Child (and Ego). It’s very much an experiential learning process.

I think you hit on an important factor of your fear, of having to move often and lose the relationships you built.

I am thankful for the many random events which have sparked a curiosity strong enough to break through this, but how many times may chance have missed?

Well, don’t be too hard on yourself, life is full of opporunity. :)

Thank you for sharing Odin.

It’s like an instinctive irrational response of anxiety at any social situation where I am becoming closer to others, even when I know full well that developing deeper relationships with people can be such a wonderful experience. It’s only when that barrier is broken, that my inner child can come out and people see who I really am, and I feel able to communicate my feelings effectively.

Some of this is just what comes with building relationships, but it seems that these tendencies and fears build up unnecessary roadblocks which stifle the depth of sharing we could obtain and limit opportunities to discover new friends. I am thankful for the many random events which have sparked a curiosity strong enough to break through this, but how many times may chance have missed? It’s interesting that even as our world is burgeoning with population growth, we seem to get less and less connected locally, while we’re pushed tighter and tighter together.

Can you be a bit more specific in how you would like to integrate your IC into your relationships? Is it that you would like to be more spontaneous? Speak your true feelings? Laugh more? Ask more questions without worrying what others think of you?

Also, this is a tricky question I know, and you may not have an answer right now, but what exactly is it that you fear? Is it judgment, rejection, or abandonment?

I would like to write an article on this, as you bring up a great topic! If you have any specific questions or insights I’ll think about them. :)