If anger didn’t have the guts to speak up when it wanted to — then let’s face it; it wouldn’t be anger. It would be something weaker, like complacency, or agreeableness. Or something fancy, like diplomacy.
Anger is supposed to be short-tempered and sharp-tongued — because it is a defense system.
Anger alarms you of when something is clearly “wrong.” It tells you that there is something you need to fear.
If the alarm signal had a delay, of say, five or ten minutes, then biologically speaking, it wouldn’t do your survival any good.
It’s the fast, loud-and-clear alarm signal that’s good for you, that does the job. Not the delayed or muted one.
But what happens when the signal is good? When your anger’s gutsy, and speaks up when it wants to?
You complain about it not being “nice” or “pleasant.”
Well, maybe you don’t, but a lot of people do. A lot of people don’t realize that they have a perfectly well-functioning alarm-signal, called anger — and it isn’t toxic or evil, just sharpened from years of evolution.
Which means they don’t know that they have that built-in system for life, put there to protect their life. And they won’t ever realize that it’s their job to do something about the signal, whenever it goes off.
Anger is logical
What’s to be done each time it goes off? Well, it’s different each time. It depends on a lot of circumstances.
Sometimes the anger is based on accurate information, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s justified, sometimes it’s not (which makes it even harder to recognize and acknowledge). Sometimes it’s being pulled by the strings of a dysfunctional belief, which skews your cognitions in all sorts of distorted ways. And you need to know when that happens, so you can correct the thinking. If you never express the anger, then the faulty thinking cannot be exposed.
The bottom line is, when the signal fires — it fires for a reason. It fires because your brain was connected and network and conditioned in such a way as to signal “danger” for whatever external or internal stimuli provoked the alarm signal so.
Anger needs a sharp tongue, and you need to listen
Anger has such a sharp tongue — because if it doesn’t, it’ll never get your attention. Which is all it needs and all it lives for — your consideration.
Whatever do you do after hearing your anger out? Well that’s for you rational mind to decide. That’s where mindfulness can kick in.
Anger will deliver vital information or misinformation (which you need to know so you can correct it) about your survival, but you are the one who has to take action.