Comments on: 6 Reasons Why You Never Need to Win an Argument

By: Molly

Molly — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 21:46:31 +0000

All 6 of those reasons are very true and well thought out. My personal favorite is #4 because people often try to argue against feelings and the only way they “win” is if you let them make you feel inferior, but even then the only thing they win is short-lived pride that they won that argument. Arguments rarely end with both parties feeling satisfied with the outcome which is why I do not agree with those who say arguing is healthy for relationships. Even arguing with those whose opinions are worth destroying is not effective because people will hold onto their beliefs no matter what. Healthy discussions are a better alternative to arguments in every situation.

By: Count Sneaky

Count Sneaky — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 22:02:25 +0000

What an excellent post this is. It reminded me of this by Samuel Butler:
“Truth generally is kindness, but where the two converge and collide,
kindness should override truth. ” And, of course, Dr. Seuss,”Sticks and
stones may break my bones, but words can break my heart.” So,
I think the value of any conversation, discussion, or argument is not
a measure of your courage or intellect, knowledge, or personal brilliance.
It is a measure of your empathy and ability to suffer “the slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune”…without losing your self respect…or cool.
My best.

By: slap happy

slap happy — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 09:25:56 +0000

Arguments are generally healthy. However, it’s not realistic to expect to win. Some opinions are worth destroying, some that involve the well being of others.

By: Melissa Karnaze

Melissa Karnaze — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 04:38:26 +0000

mistie, your opinion — that I “got myself into an argument with a commenter” — is one I don’t agree with.

Do you really believe arguing is pointless?

Your question is predicated by the assumption that I believe that arguing is pointless, which is not the argument of this article.

By: mistie

mistie — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 01:15:49 +0000

Melissa, you tell us arguing is pointless, yet you got yourself into an argument with a commenter. Do you really believe arguing is pointless?

By: Kristi

Kristi — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 20:00:28 +0000

I just had one of those “a-ha” moments! This is my first visit to this site, and, already, I love it. I haven’t integrated the information yet, but I see wonderful, life saving possibilities! Thanks! Kristi

By: Cory

Cory — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 17:56:10 +0000

On “humanity just kind of winging it”:

“There is no escape. You can’t be a vagabond and an artist and still be a solid citizen, a wholesome, upstanding man. You want to get drunk, so you have to accept the hangover. You say yes to the sunlight and pure fantasies, so you have to say yes to the filth and the nausea. Everything is within you, gold and mud, happiness and pain, the laughter of childhood and the apprehension of death. Say yes to everything, shirk nothing. Don’t try to lie to yourself. You are not a solid citizen. You are not a Greek. You are not harmonious, or the master of yourself. You are a bird in the storm. Let it storm! Let it drive you! How much have you lied! A thousand times, even in your poems and books, you have played the harmonious man, the wise man, the happy, the enlightened man. In the same way, men attacking in war have played heroes, while their bowels twitched. My God, what a poor ape, what a fencer in the mirror man is- particularly the artist- particularly myself!”

-Hermann Hesse

Found this AMAZING quote here.
http://www.reclusland.com/compass/page/2/

By: Melissa Karnaze

Melissa Karnaze — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 00:03:32 +0000

MPayton, thanks for your comment. Sometimes people play devil’s advocate because they don’t have what it takes to admit to what they don’t know. Your telling others that you may disagree but won’t discredit someone’s life experience is actually hard for most people to do. It’s scary, because it means admitting to how little is actually “known” and how we’re (humanity is) just kind of just winging it. While difficult, it sure makes it easier to relate to others.

By: MPayton

MPayton — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 00:01:39 +0000

A wise perspective on discussions/arguments probably why Charlie Rose & Larry King have done so well. I miss the show Ethics in America also a well done format. You have to consider the source(person) who you start a discussion with. Many are not mature enough to say I don’t know or have any experience with that subject but are good at arguing the opposite of a premise just to portray intelligence. I admire those who can have a discussion, share ideas, & be honest about their sphere of knowledge/experiences with the facts.
I tell those who argue, I don’t have infinite wisdom, I may not agree or see their point ever but I will not dismiss their life experiences for that reason.

By: Melissa Karnaze

Melissa Karnaze — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 16:28:39 +0000

Thanks for the feedback Mary! It’s amazing how letting go of the need to argue can shift relationships for the better!