Everyone talks to themself.
Sometimes it’s silently, in their thoughts. Sometimes it’s lyrical, with their words.
Sometimes it’s self-talk. Sometimes it’s gossip.
When it’s self-talk, it can be shamelessly prideful and self-centered. Or it can be critical and judgmental, creating deep wounds of shame.
When it’s talk about another, it can be the words that are too strong or too truthful to say to their face. Or it can be so sacred and special that it’s to scary to risk rejection in trying to express it.
Everyone talks to themself. For many different reasons.
Some of them are helpful, for sanity, for clarity. Some of them are hurtful, from fear, from pain.
It’s healthy to talk to yourself. It’s even healthier to talk to yourself for the right reasons.
Not to censor the unhealthy reasons, because they are a natural part of subconsciousness.
But to allow them to be, and be honest with your true feelings by working with them — because they will show you how to look deeper into the unhealthy things that you say to yourself.
So that you clear out the cobwebs of cognitive distortions and dysfunctional beliefs, and have good, constructive things to say about yourself.
And productive things to say about your relationships — that are focused on cooperation, resolving conflicts, and honoring yourself.
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
There was a study done that forced students to talk to themselves out loud while working out problems. They found that the students told to talk to themselves scored better than the once that took the test silently.
The trick is to know when to talk to your self. ;-)
Me and myself have much to discuss, till next time!
Carlos, do you remember the name of the study or the author(s)?
There are some times when you talk to yourself but are barely or not even aware of it! “Talking to oneself” isn’t always conscious or verbal, but we can still start to become more aware of the process.
Thanks for the comment, and have a good conversation. :p
Here is the link where he talks about the importance of self conversation… Im not sure when he says it, but it’s in there.
http://mitworld.mit.edu/video/695
Just as we can be negatively influenced by being around the wrong people, I think we can be negatively influenced by ourselves if we aren’t mindful of the negative things that we tell ourselves. Like you said, that doesn’t mean we should censor, but rather conscious and willing to identify the origin of the negative emotion. Nice post!
Carlos, thank you, I’ll take a look.
Vin, yeah, censorship is counterproductive. All you need to get started is honesty. Thanks for the comment!
I have come to realize that the best motivator in my life is me and thus I talk to myself every second of the day
Good for you Gh! ;)