Comments on: What You Can Learn from My Love Affair With Self-Help

By: Melissa Karnaze

Melissa Karnaze — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 01:17:10 +0000

Gabe, exactly. Self-help can be a razor sharp tool if we are aware of its potential pitfalls, which may be explicit or implicit in the text. We need to consume it in a balanced way. Thanks for sharing about your relationship with self-help.

I really like the pack in the New Hustle punch! I can totally identify myself as a Millennial. :)

By: Gabe | New Hustle

Gabe | New Hustle — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 00:26:46 +0000

Powerful post – and well written. You succinctly described the exact emotion I couldn’t quite put my finger on about my own “self-help” addiction. We can’t hide our negative traits – but we can seek to improve upon them to become more well rounded and positive contributors to society as a whole.

To seek our “best self” involves delving in “self-improvement” – and whatever book or passage that may assist us (by the wisdom of the ages) is by no means a recipe for disaster – unless, as you say, we choose to only focus on positive and hide the negative.

Thanks for the great read!

Gabe

By: Melissa Karnaze

Melissa Karnaze — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 22:45:13 +0000

Kelley, I thought carefully before using the first curse words on Mindful Construct, so I’m glad to hear it rang true for you. I hope your days pick up for you when the time is right. :)

Odin, I think it really can parallel health fads. It’s easy to think that you just have to try this new diet or lose that much weight — but why? If people are doing it because they think they *have* to but don’t have health or some other form of self-love as the number one reason, then their efforts won’t endure long-term, because they are missing the point to begin with. Same is true for using self-help compulsively.

It’s interesting that you use “consume” alongside “integrate” in describing functional self-helping. You’d think that commodifying anything, like happiness, etc. into books or courses or audiotapes — would be disastrous. But, you do need to consume to integrate. Thanks for that insight.

By: Odin Xenobuilder

Odin Xenobuilder — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 20:21:59 +0000

Doesn’t it seem like this self-help thing parallels physical health fads in a way? As in people never achieving long term physical health until they understand it’s a permanent life style change rather than a one time fix it diet program or something. Maybe self-help is the same way, you’ve got to consume it and integrate it into your life ongoing instead of constantly moving to the newest thing looking for a destination. As you said, it’s a journey.

By: Kelley Mitchell

Kelley Mitchell — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 17:55:21 +0000

I’m a fan of self-help as well. I particularly liked the passage about “the shit days”. Had a few of those this past week, and you’re comments certainly ring true.

“Some days are going to be shit days. Some days everything falls apart.

But guess what?

You feel the pain. You nurse yourself. You take your time, to grieve.

Then you pick yourself up. You rebuild. And then you know what you want to build, and why.”

Thanks

By: Melissa Karnaze

Melissa Karnaze — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:42:29 +0000

Lol @kind of

It’s sad, but true. There’s no “graduation,” just the next best-seller.

And you know, I think many have trained themselves to skip the “more frustration” feeling, or rather, numb it out. If self-help is a consumer cycle, it’s like a treadmill, not an actual journey.

Cole, thanks for making me laugh with your thoughtful comment.

By: Cole Bitting

Cole Bitting — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:32:31 +0000

Another well written piece. It’s like there is a self-help infatuation treadmill.

1. Start
2. Become infatuated with the guru
3. Feel really good about yourself
4. Try the program – kind of
5. Less infatuation, more frustation
6. “Almost that time. Let me get another book.”

If self-perspective were easy, we wouldn’t see so many self-help books.