Comments you leave here can definitely support other people in not “supressing layers they have accumulated due to the unavoidable circumstances of their world.” I think one of the best things we can do is support this small but growing community where it’s safe to stop the pattern of suppression.

If you think there are any other article topics that would also be constructive, feel free to suggest them. :)

we are all so unique and everyone of us has 1 unique apex in our personality that is bigger than everyone else’s on the planet. We all just need each other to help peel of the suppressing layers that we take on. All taken on before we are even able to be aware of…. and defend against these depressing gremlin’s that we accept inside us and just accept as the make up of our personality. With your Empathy you should fully help uncover at least one apex of a loved one…and make them trully happy.

Although my story is quite a different battle :)

Yes, the empathy does mean that you see where people are doing destructive things, but as you described with your son, it also motivates you to find constructive responses and even become a leader in doing so.

It can be a wonderful gift, as long as you are also aware of its dark side. Recognizing this dark side can allow for a better appreciation for the empathy and a better understanding of oneself.

Thanks again Kelley, it’s always great to hear your thoughts on the articles here.

The doctor told us that anxiety often happens to people who are thoughtful and empathetic. I was surprised to hear that, but it definitely made sense.

But it wasn’t until I read your post that I realized it’s my empathy that can lead me to be angry; angry at people when they don’t show the same level of empathy. For me this happens on the road or waiting in lines. For my son it happens at school, when kids are talking or doing something they shouldn’t that will get the class to lose privileges.

We both want people to do what they’re suppose to do so that we can all be happy, but when they don’t that’s when we get very tense and even angry. Why can’t people be more thoughtful like us!

And I do sometimes envy my husband and our older son for their easy “mental-emotional lifestyle”, but now that you bring it up, I wouldn’t trade it for anything either. It’s part of what makes me a great mom. And for my son, it has brought out his leadership by helping his classmates to stay on task.

I hope I have made sense. It is a new realization for me and not something I have talked or even written about before.

Thanks for another enlightening post Melissa.

I’ve found that my awareness of other people’s stuff and blind spots, it seems by circumstance, puts me in the position to be the one to confront them when they try their usual tactics on me. So when someone comes to me and tries to do the same dysfunctional shebang that they’ve gotten away with their whole life, I tell them about it in order to hold my own boundaries.

It’s a painful job, that I call, “playing the dark role,” but it’s an important job because it triggers their own dark side, so that they may look at it and see if they want to continue hurting themselves and other people.

And I think at a subconscious level, when you are aware of someone else’s problems, you are going to indicate that in some way, or at least be more mindful to allow them the space to recognize it… which may trigger them to look at the problems.

I totally agree that what people need to heal is already inside them. That’s a wisdom that’s too forgotten these days. But we keep drumming on. It’s so great to hear from you Sonia. :)

Also, my practice is a wonderful daily reminder that the more I act as facilitator (rather than Fixer) and trust that everything my clients need is already inside them, the more healing happens. It is definitely worth the challenge!