But, I think it’s also true for all of us, that imprinting does happen. I think the important thing is to, as an adult, be more mindful of our construct of trust.

But I think the reality is that real friendship grows organically from a meeting, with constant two-way communication afterwards nourishing the relationship to a point of clear mutual understanding between two people.

I think so too, I like how you describe it as clearer and clearer mutual understanding between two people. You can spend a lifetime developing this, and there’s always more to learn and understand about another person (and yourself), given all the different experiences you can have! That’s why on this site I’ve referred to self-actualizing rather than self-actualization. :)

But I think the reality is that real friendship grows organically from a meeting, with constant two-way communication afterwards nourishing the relationship to a point of clear mutual understanding between two people. I feel like I have only one real friend in my life, and I believe this because I’ve known him for almost ten years and in all that time we’ve communicated constantly about a variety of topics, socialised in different contexts, but more important than anything else, we’ve never been afraid to GIVE for the friendship. He’d lend me any amount of money without question, the monetary amount is meaningless to us, it’s the act of giving that is meaningful. We have similar humour too which is the biggest plus I think actually, heh.

I’ve been burned many times, so I’m very wary about friendship and trust. I can rationalise the whys and hows all I want, but it wont change the fact that I dont want to repeat mistakes or be hurt again. I dont mind having a very small close-knit group of people in my life though, at least I would be comfortable in the knowledge that the people in my small group are people I can trust, rather than being part of a larger group of people I barely know.

Interesting point: my first ever ‘best friend’ from the age of 5 to 10 was a popular boy that took me under his wing and both played with me, bought me stuff, and also bullied and beat me up. I think this had a substantial affect on me in regards to the concept of friendship and trust!

When it comes to codependency, it’s important to be aware of the definitions and the dynamics, but not to put too much power in the labels. I’ve seen the triangle before, and have been in the role of rescuer before as well. Codependency is easy escape from emotions, because it keeps you locked into drama.

Recovery is a gradual process, that comes from… again, getting in touch with your emotions, and then learning how to listen to your emotions so that you know what boundaries need to be in place — to stop the vicious cycle. I think that a good percentage of recovery comes with realizing the pattern, and that you need to start trusting your feelings. When the awareness snaps into place, you are in a good position to make the important changes.

As I’ve said before, this blog is helping me a lot lately. Please keep up this amazing work.

I’ve come to see trust in self as the foundation to any relationship, as close relationships can reflect the degree to which we can trust ourselves. Even just staying committed to trusting all of your emotions and that you can work with them in constructive ways, has a transforming effect on relationships, maybe in subtle, but undeniable, ways.

Trusting yourself completely is a tall order that most people frankly aren’t ready for. It also ties neatly into confidence and resilience, which I’ll be writing about in the future.

Self-trust is so important and it’s really just another facet of self-love/self-care. I wish everyone would follow your lead and commit themselves to this path! :)

The lesson that I’ve gotten so far, is that I have had to learn how to trust myself completely. This website has actually helped me in myriad ways with my situation, and I’ve tried to sneak material like this into the house hoping she’ll take notice. But anyway, I feel so much more in touch with my emotions and not ashamed of them because of this blog. So, thank you.

I’m not sure I get what you mean about someone trusting you “like people”? Do you mean they don’t really get to know you but instead make assumptions based on the “human nature” script that they expect for you to go by?

I know I get resentful when some one trusts me ‘like people’ rather than Trust-Me (even though I know I’m more ‘like people’ than I care to admit. On the other hand, I get angry sometime when I ‘Trust-You’ and you end up inevitably just ‘like people.’

Trust is never a perfect system. I trust that :)