Mindful Echoes from 2009

by Melissa Karnaze

mindful construct logoWhen this place was first built, it was quiet.

I could hear my own echo.

I seriously knew I was weird.

And to be honest, I was annoyed because I wondered if all I was accomplishing was sounding like a broken record.

“Emotions, emotions, emotions…”

“Work with them, work with them, work with them…”

“It’s good for you, good for you, good for you…”

But I kept at it. A website needs time to grow.

The waiting paid off, as the first comments trickled in.

(Okay, well the first comment was on UFO disclosure, one of the outlier topics, but after that, the comments on more cornerstone topics came in.)

And that’s when Mindful Construct came to life, because of you guys.

When Mindful Construct came to life…

It became a communication channel, instead of just a bunch of articles written by one person.

It needs to be a dialogue, because we’re all in this together.

We’re stronger when we interweave our perspectives, share our experiences, ask important questions, and learn from each other.

Emotion is an insanely complex topic! No one person can exhaustively research it alone… we need to work together on this.

Emotion is just the foundational topic for Mindful Construct too. Adding on all that other stuff is going to be even more complex!

So eventually, comments came in from other people who were weird — but technically we’re all cool, right?

In these past fourteen months since this place was built, you guys said some things that made my ears ring and my heart sing!

Echoes from 2009…

Here are ten comments from 2009 worth echoing for how well they speak to the Mindful Construct principle of response ability.

You can see for yourself how together, we are stronger.

On finding light in dark, Cory:

“I believe that the darkest moments of our past do hold the most power, because once we can unpack the past and re-frame the regrets, then we can move forward.”

On letting optimism unfold naturally, rather than forcing it, Lisa:

“Once you have faced your darkest fear(s) and have come to understanding and acceptance, then it’s time to start throwing a positive spin on things. Gaining perspective can only be done through acceptance and understanding.”

On how to heal with soul, Miche:

“[We need] to give ourselves the time to feel, and eventually to heal, and to be okay while realizing there are no real shortcuts in that process.”

On staying committed to the path of growth, Jolene:

“Almost a year ago, I spent time in a DBT [Dialectical Behavioral Therapy] class after a difficult period of my life. Since then I have been trying to learn to -own- my emotions, accept them and express them constructively. It’s always helpful to hear reinforcement that the learning process is a bumpy road and those bumps are not really knocking you backward.”

On the courage not to run from feelings, Monkey Magic:

“True that when you learn to deal with your emotions, it’s quite scary. Sometimes I feel like just turning it all off and run away from whatever causing it. But when I finally decided to face it, I do feel that I went out stronger than before. And yes, it’s worth every single effort since we are living in a world full of people (and yes, everyone has their own emotional bits and pieces whether they acknowledge it or not).”

On being a man and accepting his emotions, Walter:

“Being a man, it is hard for me to allow my emotions to manifest. It felt like I’m being weak and a disgrace to my manhood. However, I realized that emotions are part of me and I cannot escape from it. To this point I have learned to accept the wisdom of my emotions and allow myself to feel it but not necessarily act from it.

By allowing my emotion, I have learned a deep wisdom about how it affects my being. With this understanding I am able to act with more responsibility and sensibility.”

On coming full-circle in the self-help journey, and learning to trust in self, WN:

“[W]e don’t need more data-crunching (ie, more self-help, more gurus, more how-to’s, etc). We need more action.

I’ve plowed through my fair share of self-help and most of it was dysfunctional. I realize this only now after imbedding other people’s beliefs into my head and trying to live MY LIFE. See how that will, like, never work? That’s like corrupted third-party software I was downloading.

Now– I know that my experience, my emotions, my beliefs, my boundaries are what I need to respond to, tend to, work on, and let flourish.”

On not buying into emotion name-calling, Krishna:

Since I started meditating and understanding just a bit better, how we are wired mentally, I have been unabashedly in touch with my emotions.

We have been taught various mechanisms (games, if you will) to NOT get in touch with our emotions. Some techniques – (1) Labelling emotions – to sadness/grief is “sissy”, pride is “bad” etc, (2) elevating logic above emotions – be “professional”, lets approach this “logically”…

It doesn’t work. Ignoring emotions – the signals our mind and body are giving us, just makes us ineffective.

On why you need to do the emotional work, WN:

There IS an invisible force that is very powerful and CAN control us, and it’s made up of all the parts that you talk about here in this blog: Consciousness, unconsciousness, ego/inner child, imagination, creativity, reflection, humor, and more we haven’t discovered yet…

And these things are not intangible, or invisible, really. They ARE accessible but you’ve got to do the work. If you don’t do the work, then this force will remain that mysterious ether that eludes and controls you. And you WILL try to explain it away with abstractions, because what else can you do with it?

On not ignoring the shit that happens, Claire:

“Maybe it is the therapist training in me, that gets worked up over the idea over sticking my fingers in my ears and lalalala’ing negative emotions, which is how I perceive some of those ‘personal devlopment’ blogs.

Shit happens, don’t ignore it!”

You guys are awesome

For me, 2009 was about hearing the message — from you guys.

Thank you all for your comments this past year! Thank you for sharing a part of yourselves, for all of us to learn from.

I hope we can share many more years of great discussion to come.

If you have any suggestions or requests on how Mindful Construct can be more comment-friendly, do leave a comment below or use the contact form to let me know!

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Miche - Serenity Hacker December 14, 2009 at 5:54 pm

Melissa, thank YOU for continuing to add your wisdom and insight to this amazing resource, AND for keeping the dialogue open and going. One of my online highlights of 2009: Discovering mindfulconstruct.com and YOU! Thanks so much for everything!

Cheers,
Miche :)

WN December 15, 2009 at 12:31 pm

I have sooo much to say about this blog, but I don’t have the time to always comment on every article. I wasn’t and I don’t actively seek out websites with this subject matter of mindfully using my emotions. I just stumbled upon you trying to figure out what codependency is!

DON’T EVER STOP WRITING THIS BLOG, MELISSA!!!

There is nothing out there that is as good as this. I’ve NEVER come even close to reading HALF of someone’s total content of their blog. I usually read an article or two and then never come back. I think I’ve read 95% of your content, not to mention discovered other great content like Copy Blogger and research papers, etc., because of you.

I am inspired by this blog– this blog that epitomizes what a mindful construct is. Your writing is on the front-lines of the revolution– the inevitable Emotional Revolution.

I’m going to stop gushing now– at least until 2011. But I hope you get the message that you have made an impact in one man’s life.

You are so giving. :)

Melissa Karnaze December 15, 2009 at 7:04 pm

Miche, finding you and Serenity Hacker has also been a highlight for me this year! Thank you so much for your support. :)

WN, your comment really means *a lot* to me, as all of them do. It’s awesome to have you standing here on the front-lines. :)

alex - unleash reality December 17, 2009 at 6:04 am

Melissa you LEGEND!! :)

really really glad to have found your blog.

your words are dipped in passion and authenticity.

loved WN’s reply.

really really cool idea.

subscribed :)

keep well and in touch
alex – unleashreality.com

Melissa Karnaze December 17, 2009 at 11:50 pm

Alex, thank you for the kind words! I’m so glad you stopped by. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your latest article, and hope to see you around. :)

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