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Gender has become more of a theme than I expected it to when starting out. But it makes sense, since gender-generalized tendencies are just another reflection of the evolutionary behaviors that emotions reflect.

Odin, I really appreciate your wonderful contributions to the discussions this year. :)

It’s always refreshing to see to the male perspective. And as much as I think that both men and women can have a balance of male and female perspective… there are still undeniable, even if subtle, differences that become apparent to me after reading your guys’ thoughts on the articles. Which of course is fun, and expands the discussion in many valuable ways.

Looking forward to more discussion in 2010. BTW, nice job not scaring off all the males ;-) It never occurred to me that it would be something you had thought of and been part of why you choose to describe things the way you do. Well, it was obviously effective, and in more ways than just that one.

Kelley, that’s wonderful to hear. It’s been a joy reading your comments and experiences. :)

Best wishes,

Kelley

And there you are, WN, with your male perspective: No, the niche is already shaped!

Thanks for that. :P

In other words, women can play both parts and feel rewarded for it. Men can also play both parts, but feel embarrassed (emasculated) by it.

Yes, this is a double standard that we’re sort of shedding… but it needs a lot of work.

From my perspective both men and women have trouble with the *dark* emotions. Because society fidgets with that, period. I think if anything, women are more discouraged from the dark emotions than men are. But… that it’s more socially acceptable for women to be more assertive (than it is for men to embrace the feminine) does overlap with some of the dark emotions, like anger for instance, and it overlaps with using the dark emotions constructively.

Hmm, this has really got me thinking. There is a lot more to be explored in this area…

I’ll tell you, as well as I can remember back, the concept of Response Ability came about because I was wondering how the heck I was going to write about emotions without scaring off all the males (as well as those in the more masculine institutions, such as academia), or rather, looking silly and too dainty to be taken seriously by them.

“Work with your emotions” is simply way too feminine. For most men, football is obviously more enticing than that. And hey, I think generalizations can be great when they spark discussion. :)

So Response Ability was focused on the hunter-gatherer mentality of: tomorrow is coming whether we like it or not. We better be ready for that storm/drought/big hunt/battle/etc. so we better not let these unresolved emotions get in the way.

In other words, it came about because it’s practical (and also as stripped down from belief systems as it can be). Men are practical creatures. Maybe they’re better suited (to continue the generalization) to see that working with emotions is at base, practical?

You should go with that. Your niche just might be staring you in the face. :)

It’s easier for women (and met with less stigma) to naturally adopt modern-day (traditionally) masculine traits such as being tough, “go-getting,” rationalizing, etc… than it is for men to naturally adopt (traditionally) feminine traits, such as empathizing, expressing, nurturing, etc. I believe we’re living in a time where men are trying to actively seek out (hunting for) how to become more sensitive to the feminine so that he can catch up to women who have already achieved a certain culturally sanctioned balance between masc/fem.

In other words, women can play both parts and feel rewarded for it. Men can also play both parts, but feel embarrassed (emasculated) by it.

I hate to say it, but I don’t see this changing any time soon, unless we are suddenly plunged back into a hunter-gatherer society where a man’s brute strength and hand-eye coordination was of very high value. Now, men are banished to fantasize about their lost masculine power over sporting events, action flicks, and other surrogates for “the hunt.”

But, back to my original point, men are more likely to “hunt” for answers to their confusions about emotions, as opposed to women who appear (to me) to be better well-adjusted to modern life.

But I generalize… :P