I look forward to discussing the topic of gratitude further. Compassion is sort of taken for granted as the same thing as forgiveness, but it’s the genuine “thank you” that’s key.

Haider, I agree that unending venting of anger comes from not actually getting to the core of the anger and then letting that awareness mobilize you constructively. And that’s probably why venting gets such a bad rep. It’s not done in an effective way.

Effective venting is powerful stuff, verbalizing emotion in ways that sometimes talking alone won’t get at.

Looking at the world from a wider angle, and seeing how hurtful actions usually stem from weakness should make us feel compassion towards others, as you say.

This is also how I view compassion. The trick is, because we’re clouded by our goggles of emotional experience, we have to clear out things like anger before we can see the wider picture more clearly.

I’m glad the science bits are helpful. It’s my undergraduate study of science that spurred me to see response ability so clearly, so naturally, it’s part of the package. :P There’s tons more science I’d like to explore and weave in!

I don’t believe that we ever need to “vent out” in order to effectively work with our emotions. Since emotions are responses to meanings, we have to understand what the meanings behind our emotions are, and work on those.

What I do believe to be necessary is giving our emotions verbal expression, so that we are clear on what’s making us angry, which often boils down to the thought patterns we apply to life circumstances.

The reason why people who vent out need to continuously vent out is that they haven’t replaced their destructive thought patterns with constructive ones. This is where I see spirituality overlapping with psychology.

Essentially, spirituality is about seeing the bigger picture of life. We often get angry when we focus on what was said and done to us, without acknowledging that the people who do and say hurtful things have their own issues to deal with, and are struggling to deal effectively with life’s challenges (and especially in dealing with other people).

Looking at the world from a wider angle, and seeing how hurtful actions usually stem from weakness should make us feel compassion towards others, as you say.

FYI, besides the fact that I agree with most of your ideas on psychological well-being, I really appreciate the scientific information you include in your posts. :D

I am Johnny. The above playground analogy is my life that plays out within the walls of my home everyday. Sally is my baby’s mother and my 16 month-old son is the thing that requires us to see each other everyday–and live together. And Johnny’s anger is my own.

I’m deathly afraid of confronting Sally, because I’m scared of “the fallout.” Not that I’ve never confronted her on minor things, but if I really told her how I feel about her, not holding back, the backlash is what terrifies me. There’s so much at stake (in my mind.) But I know it must happen one day.

Emotional hygiene–I love that phrase!

Right now I feel about as filthy as they come.

Gratitude leads to compassion. I’ve always believed that in some form or another.

Thank you for this inspiring post.