I found this blog today and I must say I simply feel good reading it. It helps in a way. Almost three months ago I ended an dependent relationship in a not healthy way according to an article out here. The reason was that my best friend, who later turned to be my lover also, gave me the biggest scare in my life so far by saying basically that because I am not only focusing on her she did not want to live anymore…or had been going through a phase of that. I was devastated and so very scared for myself and also of myself because suddenly I realized that our relationship that had seemed so “perfect” was not perfect at all and was bearing inherently a great potential of destruction. My sudden need to protect myself resulted in me cutting myself out of her life in a very abrupt way that left us both hurting. I am not blaming myself anymore for this because that second, that night, I could not react differently. It was the only reaction I had left.

She did not kill herself. She is alive. But for me the situation is still tough. During that horrid time I thought about trying meditation to find a way to find my real self, to find a way to calm myself, to be happy. But boy…..I can say meditation was not good for me at that time. I read books by yongey mingur rinpoche and while I like the guy per se and can understand the philosophy it was probably simply too much for somebody in a crisis like I was. It did not help me to forget about my ego (although yongey does not say you should), it did not help me to think too much about that the mind is separate from the body in a way because that triggered a panicky fear of death for me. That might not make sense for many people but for me it was horrid and still is sometimes. I do think meditation can work and I do not think that it does want to make us to not feel but rather to be more aware of our feelings and also take responsibilty but man…it was just too much information for me to handle at a point where I already thought I am “losing my mind”.

Mia

I would like to clarify that the point of this paragraph (albeit poorly worded and vaguely explained -ahh, the irony-) was to show that sometimes certain phrases can be helpful to certain individuals depending on the intentions of the user of the said phrase.

I would also like to clarify that when I said that “Your articles may appeal to those that are very open” I intended to write “Your articles may appeal to those that are very open (to new information that is outside of the norm of their lifestyle)”. This addition still leaves the definition incomplete but my main point is that some individuals that I have met appear to have a greater resistance to certain ideas than others, and by citing the existence of a “more open” individual, I meant that some individuals may be more ready to accept new ideas than others (or some may simply be willing to accept your ideas if they conform to their own set of beliefs).
Ok, hopefully there are no more holes in my post that will leave a strong stench of irony behind that will stink up the comments thread. Please forgive me if I have made this (or any other) mistake.
Peace :)

For example:

(under the section titled “You are not your mind-brain”)
(it’s dysfunctional because:)

“It tries to convince you that your physical life here on Earth is inferior to the “real” existence that is unbound by your mind/brain.”

(in some cases, this advice [you are not your mind-brain] can be liberating to some who have been stuck in a very thick mess of belief constructs generated by not properly dealing with their fear, and suppressing it in any number of ways -in this case I suggest that a system of beliefs used to soothe away the fears of uncertainty instead of dealing with uncertainty MAY be the cause of a lack of “response ability” as you call it-)

This could be reworded as follows:

(*possibly add a subtitle below the original title saying* ” It CAN be…”
*than the next line could be*
dysfunctional because:)

“It MAY be used in a way that is intended to convince an eager soon-to-be disciple of mindfulness that his/her ‘physical life here on Earth is inferior to the “real” existence that is unbound by your mind/brain.’”

(and in this way, you may avoid some conflicts over the meaning of your work through providing a specific example of what you mean in layman’s terms, instead of relying on the interpretation of your reader as much.)

And these methods of changing the material in such a way that it reduces the possible uncertainty as to how the reader may interpret your arguments may help you get your points across more clearly.

Thanks again for the valuable information that you provide here on this website; your articles have been a boon in a realization of many of my self-restricting habits and a mad pursuit of perfection, a pursuit that was doomed to implode and self-destruct due to my personal use of meditation and mindfulness in ways that I thought were simply not working because I wasn’t “doing it right” or I wasn’t “detached enough”. The concepts that you have presented here have been very useful for my personal growth as a human being and I hope that many others who use this resource that you provide as well as many others can also benefit in some way from reading your articles.
Thanks again!